Bish

Subtle altruism. Enamored by human dichotomy - I've been calculated yet carefree in my efforts to dig the magnet from under my skin. I thought I removed it years ago but our gravitational pull proved me wrong. My primal identity needs to be cared for, supported, romanced and held. Even though the conscious wants to avoid you- I physically can't. Powerless against my nature. Aware that it's bigger than my emotions, it's like amino acid for survival. Small reactionary chains that are the building my life. I'm drawn to you by nature and hate it bc I want to give you all the love I've been holding back from the world. The psyche knows that we have evolved to deflect our intrinsic desires. The psyche knows to ask you for a white boy so you can test his characters ahead of time. Not to make us feel uncomfortable about the fact that we can't resist each other yet don't want one another. You know I'm special. Slightly autistic but special and I'm terrified to let people see what I share with you so easily. They'll abuse me. Take advantage of what's still pure. I trust you to guard me like a precious stone bc you know the real value. Beyond the exterior shield, you know my heart. I want nothing from you but for you to know that I was here to love first. All this other shit is to fill my time. I love you for reasons that I know and do not understand. Not one move, word, gesture or act of kindness is taken for granted. I pay attention to everything and I love you for loving me.